All Seminars are all in the Riviera, mostly upstairs.
Get schedule updates and blasts at twitter.com/rollercon, or just get updates via SMS by texting “follow RollerCon” to 40404 in the United States.
- TORS / TORN: Top of the Riv North & South: Monaco Tower, capacity 500. Mostly Off-Skates Athletic Training. This room is a little hard to find, honestly. Ask for the Monaco Tower!
- 201-204: Skyboxes overlooking the tracks, capacity 40 per room. Most seminars will be held in these rooms. Look for stairs near the RollerCon Registration area.
- 205: Officials Room: Skybox overlooking the track, capacity 40. Private, for Officials only.
- 209-210: Skyboxes overlooking the track, larger seminars, capacity 140
RollerCon Seminar leaders are volunteers. Most seminars get scheduled, even if the planners think the seminar leader might be cracked (as so many of us are). So – as always – you should take all advice offered in a seminar (and everywhere else during the convention) with a grain of salt. The training, opinions, findings, and conclusions offered during Rollercon are those of the authors or speakers and not necessarily those of the speaker’s league, or the hosts or planners of the RollerCon conference. The materials and information presented are for informational purposes only & are not legal advice or counsel. Information gathered should be modified to fit your own personal needs, business models, athletic competence, health concerns and limitations, and state requirements. All skaters should execute proper safety precautions prior to attempting any skills demonstrated or shown. All RollerCon registrants participate in conference events solely at their own risk.
Click on the seminar title for descriptions and seminar leader bios.
2013 Seminar Leaders included:
90° Johnson is a a WFTDA Level 2 certified NSO. He has been the HNSO/THNSO of RollerCon for the last 4 years.
Absolutely Scabulous has played the last four years with the Silicon Valley Roller Girls. She currently skates with SVRG’s travel team, the Dot.Kamikazes as a pivot, blocker, jammer, and most strategic hype-woman on the bench. She coaches and recruits our n00bs, has been bout production chair twice and held a position on the Board of Directors. Her passion in work and life lies in creating semblance where there is chaos, and over-communicating everything — you might receive a highly detailed, bulleted email from her, or some encouraging words on the track about that bad ass block you just made. Relentlessly positive, she will drop everything to do some prancecise with you. The past three years she’s worked at the Googleplex in Mountain View, CA.
AK-40oz has been in something like 1000 bouts in some capacity, from skating in pickup mens’ teams to Tournament Head Referee. He’s happy to do event grunt work for the Detroit Derby Girls and announce for the WFTDA Championships and other events on Canuck Derby TV, DNN, and wftda.tv. He shows up at to work weekends in Canada, teaches bootcamps and throws an annual state tournament. “The Stats General” spent his early years at the helm of the Detroit and WFTDA Stat Armies and oversaw over a dozen Big 5, countless tourneys, occasionally manages, and pries whatever else he can fit into #52weeksofderby. AK-40oz. has helped bring the sport no less than: the high block hand signal, NSO system standardization, actions/errors, and the Mitten Kittens. He loves the game, talking about the game, the love of the game, roller derby and safety. AK taught classes at RollerCons 2008 & 2009.
Allyaz Stoned is an unaffliated NSO operating in California. She has been the head of stats for RollerCon for the last 2 years and is a rock star NSO on the West Coast.
Assaulty Cracker picked her name a few months prior to finding out what a salty cracker meant on Urban Dictionary (Of course we had to look it up. We wish we hadn’t). She is affectionately known as the Ass Crack of the San Diego Derby Dolls, with whom she’s skated since 2008. Having tons of flat track interleague and banked track experience, she is best known for her on-track communication skills and her passion for coaching newer skaters, especially those who are new athletes.
Belt Sander has been a practicing naturopathic physician since 2005. One of her areas of focus is treating musculoskeletal injuries with natural medicine, which makes derby a perfect fit for her practice. She has skated for High Altitude Roller Derby in Flagstaff, Arizona since 2011 and is currently a Head Coach and captain of HARD’s travel team.
Bode Lee Harm skates for and is on the BOD for the Capital City Skull Crushers (MRDA team). He’s been a fitness and group exercise instructor for over 25 years and has extensive training in fitness, exercise, nutrition, and weight management. Although pushing 50, Bode still wears 32-inch waist jeans.
Booty Quake is the founder and chief motivator at Roller Derby Athletics, providing sport specific training and advice to derby athletes around the world. She has also been working her booty off for the Terminal City Rollergirls since 2007. In addition to serving as League President, she has been coaching and training skaters in her area since 2008, and is currently the training committee head. Booty has a special interest in off-skates strength and conditioning and is a lifelong athlete. She is happiest when sweating, and at after parties! She’ll kick your ass, so you can go kick someone else’s.
Catholic Cruel Girl began skating with the Rocky Mountain Rollergirls in March 2007. She was Co-Captain of RMRG’s all star team, the 5280 Fight Club for the 2009/2010 season, helping lead the team to win Championships in November 2010. Cruelie has trained in various cities in the US and Europe. In addition to creating original recipes for her column in fiveonfive magazine, she is formulating her own line of bath products and tea blends. Cruel Pants is studying herbal medicine and wants to rid the world of disease using the medicine Mother Nature has provided. She is missing two teeth and has a fak-ey that she doesn’t often wear cuz it’s uncomfortable and she is too old to give a f%!k.
Demanda Riot is real fucking scary. She cannot MAKE you be real fucking scary (that’s up to you), but she will show you how to do some of the real fucking scary things that she does. You’ve likely had nightmares about her before the big bout, where you wake up screaming but can’t quite remember why. B.A.D to the bone & bleeding gold since 2007, Demanda Riot also skates with a myriad of ad hock and scrimmage teams such as Chupacabras Peligrosas (redepantsipated Team Awesome), Team Legit, The Vagine Regime, The CoEd Cripplers, Team Cruz and The Rejects.
Evil Lucian has been skating roller derby for four years. In that time she has helped start two leagues and taken on just about every hat from merch to coaching to bout production. Her proudest moment came when her league of 6 skaters hosted an all day long tournament for 100 skaters. She is currently president of Moab Roller Derby. Neale Pickett is an NSO, computer programmer, inventor and derby super fan. He has been a key player in getting Los Alamos M’atom Bombs up and rolling.
Hazed and Contused has traveled and coached all around the world, including Ireland, Arizona, Wisconsin, Puerto Rico, Hawaii, and Roller Con 2012. She has been skating for 4 seasons, and has been coaching & captaining for 3 of those years. Currently the captain of Madsion’s Allstar team (the Dairyland Dolls), Hazer commits all of her extra time and energy to spreading the derby love and knowledge around the world.
Jerry Seltzer was born into Roller Derby; his father Leo invented the game. Jerry took over in the early sixties, establishing a 110-station television network, playing live games in every major venue in the US and Canada, all with in-house promotion and marketing. Crowds of 15,000 to 50,000 watched the game. he went on to found BASS Tickets in the SF Bay Area, promoted concerts, and joined Ticketmaster as Exec VP, sales and marketing. He helped promote a number of fund raising events. In 2012 he joined Brown Paper Tickets as a sales outreach representative. His Derby name is “The Commissioner”, and he loves dogs and children. www.rollerderbyjesus.com
Krissy Krash has been kicking ass and taking names in roller derby for the last 5 years and has been skating banked and flat track since 2006. She is also known for her role as one of the Manson sisters in Whip It and her Derby Nutrition company Derbalife. Her skills on the track are versatile and she has experience teaching everything from basic skills to advanced blocking and jamming strategy, as well as performance nutrition, and goal setting.
Mack The Mouth started with Vancouver’s Terminal City Roller Girls in 2006 as the league announcer. As one of the original voices in derby Mack was invited to tournaments throughout Canada, the United States and the UK. Watching hundreds of bouts over the years from an announcer’s viewpoint provided Mack with a unique perspective on the sport and success behind the bench. He is currently the Coach of the Terminal City AllStars, Team Canada, and for Camp PivotStar.
Merry Khaos is a starter for the Dutchland Derby Rollers and has been on skates for four years. She has trained with the top teams and skaters in the world, and writes about them all just as often. With experience on the flat and banked track, in co-ed and women’s derby, there is no challenge (or scrimmage opportunity) that Khaos won’t take on. She is a leader in Derbalife and has created the structure and execution for the East Coast boot camps. She has contributed to Derbylife and Five on Five Magazine when not writing her own blogs and articles as her alter ego, Kristie Grey.
Mildred Fierce has handled PR and Marketing for the Santa Cruz Derby Girls since 2009, and works in PR, Marketing and Communications, and event production in her secret life as a normal adult woman. She is the league’s official AFTDA announcer and guest voices on DNN and WFTDA Tournaments. As a freelance writer she finds numerous opportunities to include her derby addiction in articles. For more information or seminar outline: firstname.lastname@example.org_x000D_
Neale Pickett is a huge nerd. He tries to use his mad nerd skills to help resource-limited teams do more with less, and has a bunch of free software for derby at www.woozle.org. He’s the head NSO, DJ, and #1 fan for the Los Alamos Derby Dames. Somehow, he’s running a contest at DEF CON down at the Rio at the same time as RollerCon.
Quad Almighty coaches derby for the Cincinnati Rollergirls and plays derby for the Race City Rebels. He founded and captains the Cincinnati Battering Rams and is a member of Team SeXY. When he’s not coaching derby or playing derby, he’s practicing derby or studying derby or recovering from derby. Occasionally, he also blogs about derby.
Quadzilla LK started skating in diapers and joined his first derby team roughly sometime before puberty (which was way earlier than most of you people think), in the dark ages when the sport was played on inline skates by people with enormous hair and you were probably still in diapers. He was a featured skater in a bunch of TV commercials, loves to jump rows of skaters laying on the ground, can skate with his skate on his ass better than most of you can skate with ‘em on your feet, and has a new pair of flashy shoes every single time you lay eyes on him. He guest coaches all over and has been seen rocking both flat and banked tracks on several continents. He plays mens derby for the Puget Sound Outcasts, and has developed Antik Skates, Heartless and B’Zerk Wheels and Gumball Stops. We heard he was once a pro snowboarder. He doesn’t have anything at all to do with Derby News Network and has never been a ref, though he’s not above wearing a dress if the situation calls for it. He likes the kind of sushi that has fried things and cream cheese in it. We don’t think he’s a super hero, but he does actually have a sidekick named Boy (Something). For real. Little known fact: the “LK” stands for “likes kumquats.”
Hatched among the craggy reaches of her back-woods high-mountain village, Scald Eagle spent the majority of her fledgling years cutting her talons on the frigid ice hockey rinks of Western Colorado. She also did a bajillion squats as a catcher during her extensive softball career, and she’s done about every athletic or outdoorsy thing a bird can do in the wilds of Colorado. Including, but not limited to, archery hunting, mountain biking, rifle Hhunting, skiing, muzzleloader hunting, rafting, and did I mention hunting? In 2010 she was ready to do the metropolitan thang for a while and so migrated to Portland, Oregon where she immediately discovered the existence of roller derby, the Rose City Rollers, and as it happens, fishing! Due to her athletic background and all the competitive bones in her body, Scald made it onto Fresh Meat and quickly ascended the ranks of RCR. She also found, during this time, that she had developed the knack for snatching up the tasty but elusive Greater Pinkfin Land Tuna. By March of 2011 she was honored to fly for the Wheels of Justice and the Vagine Regime. She has been a proud member of both for three seasons now, and has hated erry minute of it.
Nadia Kean, known to many as Smarty Pants, started skating bank track in her hometown of Austin, Texas for TXRD from 2003 until 2011 when she started skating flat track with the Texas Rollergirls. Kean is a member of the Texecutioners and is also a Co-Captain for Team USA, and skates with the Vagine Regime and Team SASS. Kean is Sponsored by Antik skates, Pro-Designed and Pivot Star. With over a decade of coaching under her belt, Kean is sensitive to the needs of athletes and well aware of the process of learning. Kean offers an extensive background in both bank track and flat track derby and enjoys the opportunity to learn more about each sport every time she steps on a track. This pursuit of knowledge keeps Kean flexible in what she has taught others in the sport and is reflected in the innovative sessions she creates. Kean is the owner of Get Smarty Coaching, her derby training and consulting firm.
Starla CupQuake: Once upon a time there was a 46 year old woman who felt an incredible pull towards derby…she was not an athlete, she was not in shape, she did not know a thing about derby and was scared shitless-but, she joined anyway.
Stormy Trooper has been involved in roller derby since 2005, starting off with the Kansas City Roller Warriors, then later starting her own league, Dead Girl Derby KC. She is bitraxual, skating with Kansas City Banked Beauties and coaching men’s MRDA league, The KC Cowtown Butchers. She is also an independent ref with MRDA 2012 National Champions Your Mom Men’s Roller Derby league. Stormy is a manager with RollerCon and member of the USARS roller derby committee.
Suzy Snakeyes is now in her tenth (!!) year as a skater with the LA Derby Dolls. In addition to playing for the home team she helped found, the Tough Cookies, Suzy is the current assistant coach for the LA Ri-Ettes all-star team, as well as a league trainer and instructor for LADD’s Derby Por Vida fitness program. Suzy’s love for training derby athletes led her to pursue a career in fitness instruction, and she now is a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist and a Certified Personal Trainer through the National Strength and Conditioning Association. In 2012, Suzy founded Power Jam Fitness (www.powerjamfitness.com), providing derby-centric training programs for skaters worldwide. Her derby motto? “I’LL RETIRE WHEN I DIE!”
SwingHer is a skater with 5 years in Roller Derby and many more as a rink rat. She skates anytime there is time and studies psychology in her free time consuming books on sports psychology. It is her personal belief that inside every skater is an epic player just waiting to get out and she desires to help you see your epic side. After all her time in derby one thing has become apparently clear to her; that she’s being a selfish player by not teaching others what is locked up inside her own head. As a co founder of Blockers Not Bullies she made an off skates training debut last year at RollerCon US and has come back for more.
The Hot Flash is founder, coach and skater with OneWorld Roller Derby; previously skated with Rat City Roller Girls and Tilted Thunder Rail Birds. This is the third year coaching at Rollercon and since the last 2012 RC has had two mastectomies and has turned 57. Despite the setbacks she is stronger than ever and on a mission to continue to become stronger and to SHARE THE FREAKIN’ LOVE!
The Rev has skated with many Mens teams all over the world. He began playing Derby in 2006 with The Dirty Dozen. Since then he has skated on the Harm City Homicide, Mont Royals and Team SeXY. He began coaching and training derby in 2008 at Rollercon and has traveled all over the world training leagues. He coached the New Skids on the Block from 2009-2012, taking them to 3 regional playoffs. Currently he and Jess Bandit train leagues under Derbyscool.
Trish the Dish started played derby in 2004 when most of today’s players were kicking ass in high school soccer and hockey teams. A jock her whole life, she played soccer, volleyball and went to college on a softball scholarship before she discovered Arizona Roller Derby and applied her unique talents to our track. Dish saw one Arizona Roller Derby bout and knew it was for her. She put together a team of college friends and debuted as a captain in her first season, was a founding rep for the WFTDA, then pioneered interleague flat track by co-founding the Sin City Rollergirls, this generation of derby’s very first interleague-only single-team league. She later captained the San Diego Derby Dolls All Stars to #1 in the banked track world, and now leads SoCal Derby, San Diego’s only WFTDA team, in their climb up the ladder. Dish has set the bar high for the word “scary,” regularly launching unsuspecting jammers into the arms of the audience since the earliest years, and has skated with Team Awesome, Team Vagine, the Tomboys and Chupacabras Peligrosas from their inception. She’s coached around the world, and owns and manages Sin City Skates, the FIRST and BEST roller derby skate shop.
Umpire Strikes Back is the Tournament Head Ref for RollerCon and a WFTDA Certified Level 5 Referee.
Val Capone just celebrated her 8 year anniversary of destroying her body to appease the Derby Gods as one of the first people recruited to the Windy City Rollers. She then accidentally took to announcing after a minor injury kept her off the track about 5 1/2 years ago, which has resulted in the best job she never knew she’d have. Over the past few years, Val has announced for multiple league in the US as well as Canada. Ohio Roller Girls, Mad Rollin’ Dolls, Detroit Derby Girls, Brew CIty Bruisers, Gran Raggity Roller Girls, Ft. Wayne Derby Girls, Boston Massacre, Quad City Rollers, Killamazoo Derby Darlins and, of course, the Windy City Rollers All-Stars. Valphonse was the first female announcer to be televised calling Flat Track Derby for MavTv in 2007 and Co-MC’d the world premiere of Whip It! at the Toronto International Film Festival in September of 2009. In addition to this, Capone served on the founding Board of Directors of the Association of Flat Track Derby Announcers as the Chair, as well as was the recipient of DNN’s 2009 Announcer of the Year award as voted upon by the viewers.
WindyMan is the author of Roller Derby Notes, the Derby Blog for Sports Fans (www.windyman.net) and has been a roller derby enthusiast for over 25 years. In his seven years following the modern game, he has dabbled as a bout volunteer, announcer, photographer, videographer, social media adviser, rules guru—and yes, even as a skater. He has also contributed to Derby News Network.